Falling Through The Cracks?

I few months ago I had sent out a message on Facebook to several former Home Missionary kids. I explained to them about this blog and how I wanted to start it back up again after a year's absence. I then asked them if there was any topics that I should blog about that could be an encouragement to our current MKs. They, in turn, sent back several suggestions that I thought were wonderful. I decided to wait a few weeks to really pray and see what the Lord wanted me to write about first. Then this week I received a message on Facebook from one of those former MKs and I could tell their heart was really burdened. They went on to explain that this has been a subject that has been on their heart for a long time and after talking with other former MK's they felt they needed to write their thoughts down. They sent it to me and after reading it I knew that I needed to share this with all of you. I believe that every MK feels this way at some point in their life and if you are feeling this way at this moment, please let this be an encouragement to you.

Do you ever feel like your parents focus on everyone else's spiritual growth and bringing others to Christ, and you sort of fall through the cracks? I know how that feels.

I was an MK for over 11 years, the really critical 11 years. I watched my parents plan events and outreaches at church. I watched them have people over for dinner at our house. I watched my dad spend countless hours at the church. He had people over to his home office to counsel them. Now, I know it's part of being in the ministry. My parents were called to this, and I was too, because God called our family. But how was I supposed to know how to be the witness I needed to be when I knew I wasn't growing spiritually and I honestly didn't really know how? I don't remember my parents asking me if I read my Bible consistently. I don't remember praying much together unless it was dinner, or I got in really huge trouble. I remember being 15 years old and not even knowing how to defend my faith. It scared me. I wanted to know God in a deeper way, but not knowing HOW. I wanted to be led, and I was becoming another person in the crowed at church. I wanted the discipleship others were getting, but felt neglected spiritually.

Then, all of a sudden I was expected to just jump 100% into ministry myself. I was 14 years old when I started playing the piano at church. Out of necessity, I was missing just sitting in the pew and worshipping God - because I was 'doing' ministry. Even at 14, I knew I was not spiritually mature enough to miss out on that. But it was expected of me. But since I was an MK, I was expected to be okay. So, I decided I'd just "be okay". I didn't want to reflect poorly on my parents. So I did what was expected, acted the way I was expected to act.

I've recently talked with some Mks that are several years younger than me and I see the same look in their eyes, the same insecurities are there. So, even 9 years after I've moved out of my parents' house and am no longer considered an MK, other kids are still feeling the same way.

Here's my encouragement to you if you are feeling like this. First of all, you have to remember that this is a ministry that your parents (and you being part of the family) have been called to. People are important and God wants them to be reached, and He wants to use your family to do that. But secondly, you need to be open with your parents. Tell them how you are feeling. I am an adult, married with children of my own now and I waited way too long to be honest with my parents about it. They just didn't see it when I was younger. Your parents need you to be open and honest and ask them to not forget about you. Ask them to help you grow spiritually and to lead you. You see, I didn't tell my parents how I was feeling. I thought they expected me to be perfect and fill the mold of a perfect daughter and turn out "okay". So, I started keeping secrets. I withdrew. I became an angry person but no one saw that. No one knew the real me. When I became an adult and expressed to them how I was feeling as a kid, I was floored that they just didn't see it. If I had said something and been honest, things would be different - I just know it. So, please, if you are feeling this way - talk to your parents, I promise you, YOU are their priority.

God's Chisel

I wanted to share this video with you. It has been circulating all day on Facebook and it was just too wonderful and too powerful not to share it with you. It's about allowing God to work on us to help us become the Masterpiece He designed us to be. It is a little lengthy but it is definitely worth the view.

Ever Faithful

Today has been a sad day for me. My dog was put down. His name was Butler and he was 16 years old. He was such a great dog...a Yorkshire Terrier. Before he got very old he would jump and play and run all over the place. He was always sitting at the door waiting for me to come home so I can give him a treat. He would always curl up beside me on the couch or chair and go to sleep. If I was upset he wouldn't leave my side. He would even sometimes lick my tears away. The funny thing about dogs is that they are ever loyal...ever faithful. You can holler, scream and yell at them for something they did and if you walk out to the mailbox and come back in they treat you as if they haven't seen you in days. They love you without limits. They love you unconditionally.

There were times that I treated my dog, Butler, unfairly or wrong but he was always still there loving me and waiting for me to pick him up and squeeze him and to give him his favorite treat. I didn't always feel as if I was the best dog owner and that I didn't always give him the love and attention he deserved but he loved me everyday and was always so excited to see me.

Not to compare our Lord to dogs but He does treat us the same way sometimes. He loves us without limits and He loves us unconditionally. He loves us no matter how we may treat Him. If you go months or years without talking to Him, He's still there just waiting for you to say something to Him. We can holler and scream at Him and blame Him for all the wrong things in our lives but He never leaves our side. He is ever faithful. I feel so unworthy sometimes of His love. I feel at times that I don't deserve it because I have treated Him badly or went weeks without talking to Him.

Do you ever look at people at school or church and think that they are much more spiritual than you are? Doesn't it always seem as if they don't have a problem talking to Him daily or treating Him the way He should be treated? I feel that way sometimes. I feel like I'm not as worthy or loved or a good enough Christian. I compare myself to others all the time. I often get tempted to become frustrated over either my lack of Christianity or what seems to be their overabundance or perfect walk with the Lord. But I keep reminding myself of Philippians 1:6. It says, "Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ." Isn't that so comforting to read the promise that He is always refining us and molding us to be more like Him? With this promise at our fingertips, we can always strive to be faithful to Him like He is faithful to us. The next time you find yourself not feeling worthy or Him or that you don't feel like you are doing all for Him that you can hide the truth of Philippians 1:6 in your heart.

Ragged Andy

Can you believe that July is almost over? Pretty soon you all will be headed back to school. For some of you, it will be a new school. I remember each time I started at a new school. I was nervous and so scared. "Will they like me? Will I fit in?" Those were questions I asked myself over and over. It's hard to know who will be a good friend to you and who will be not so nice to you. When our family moved to Davenport, IA, we were enrolled in a Christian school. That was a huge change for me. I had grown up in a public school but once the school year started everything turned out really great. I just had to put myself out there and be outgoing and extremely friendly which, for me, is very hard to do. I'm not that outgoing of a person.

I wanted to share part of an article that I wrote for ONE magazine for their April-May 2009 issue. You might have read it then when it came out but I wanted to share part of it with you again today. This is a true story that did happen to me and my brother the first year we transferred to a new school. The title of the story is Ragged Andy.*

He sat alone at his desk quietly eating his sandwich. No one talked to him. He was tall, overweight, and pale-skinned with fiery red hair and wire-rimmed glasses. You could tell his clothes were not name brands, nor did he look like other teenage boys. After talking with him for a few moments, it was apparent something was different about Andy.

This difference caused him to be an outcast of sorts from his fellow students. My heart went out to my classmate as I watched him eat his lunch alone - surrounded by classmates yet ignored by everyone. My brother and I were new to school, and we weren't sure exactly how to approach this strange boy.

My family and I had recently moved to the area to plant a church. When the youth leaders planned a youth outing to try to build up our youth group, my brother and I decided to invite our new classmates and friends. On a whim, my brother invited Andy to join us. To everyone's surprise, he showed up for the evening of pizza, bowling, and ice cream.

That night we learned more about Andy. His parents had abandoned him as a baby, and he lived with his grandparents. They didn't go to church but sent him to the Christian school so he would "stay out of trouble." Our hearts were saddened for this boy, and the youth befriended him. Eventually, he began to come to church on a regular basis. He became deeply involved in our church family and found a place to belong.

Throughout the next year, Andy blossomed into a confident, strong person who wanted to live for the Lord. Perhaps it wasn't his strong point, but Andy loved music and he loved to sing before the church. When he sang, it was clear that he sang only to the Lord. God's presence move among our congregation. It was evident that lives were being touch and changed through my classmate's love for his Lord.

I learned early in parent's home missions ministry that my brother and I were missionaries as well. We realized that we could reach people like Andy more easily than our parents. We made it our goal to invite our friends to church, and to share the gospel with them when possible.

It was an awesome sight to see them come to church, and sometimes their parents would come, too. Most exciting was when they gave their hearts to the Lord. It was a wonderful feeling knowing we had a hand in building the Kingdom for Christ.

*Reprinted from One Magazine April-May 2009

To give you a little bit more background on Andy (whose name has been changed). Andy, at first, was so odd and strange. I had never met anyone like him before. He seemed so goofy to me and I didn't think I would have much in common with him nor be able to talk to him like a normal person. He had a huge speech problem which only made him more like an outcast. Being in a new school we, or rather, I was afraid to be friends with him because I didn't know what the other kids at school would think. I didn't want to make friends with the wrong people. But it was my brother who showed me how wrong that was. He invited Andy on the spur of the moment to an youth outing and it turned to be the biggest blessing any of us could ever imagine. He was the sweetest and most kind person you could ever have met. In the article when it says that perhaps singing wasn't his strong point was a huge understatement. Andy just flat out could not sing. He was tone deaf but that didn't stop him. When he sang he ministered to everyone in the church because we knew his heart.

The point I'm trying to make through all this is that you can't let what others think about you distract from when you try to become friends with others. Sure, you don't want to get in the wrong crowd that will lead you away from the Lord. Be wise in choosing your friends but be very prayerful about it as well. There may be a classmate who needs the Lord so badly and He may be leading you to that person so they can come to know Him. Every class has a ragged Andy. It's your job as missionaries and Christians to spot them love them as Christ would.

Do They See Jesus in Me?

I was listening to my iPod the other day and I had it on shuffle. A song came on that I absolutely love and every time I listen to it I get so convicted and I have to pray for the Lord to forgive me. It's sung by an artist named Joy Williams and the name of the song is Do They See Jesus in Me? I found a video of the song on YouTube that I wanted you all to listen to. So please if you have a few minutes take a look at the video.

I love this song because it has a great message. I always have to ask myself those questions. Do people see Jesus in me? Do I show them the love that He gave me? Do I show people that same grace and mercy? Am I showing those around me that He is the only reason I live and breathe? Do I have a compassionate heart for others? Am I telling about His grace, love and mercy? Sadly, there are times when the answer to these questions is no.

Sometimes we can get so caught up in our daily tasks and friends that we don't take notice of those whom the Lord has put in our path. It's very important for us as missionaries and as Christians to let people see Christ through us. We need to always be on notice for those around us at school and extra activities to look for those who are hurting and need a friend. As we build these friendships we need to make sure that we are showing Christ through us and maybe one day you will be able to win that person for Christ.

I keep the scripture Philippians 3:14 close to my heart at all times. It says, "I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus." Christ has given you an awesome responsibility as missionaries and Christians to spread the good news of His grace and love so you can reach your friends and to reach people your parents may not get the opportunity to reach. So the next time you are with your friends or out grocery shopping with your parents, or even when you are at McDonald's having a hamburger ask yourself if others see Jesus in you. If the answer is no, they can't, then I urge you to ask the Lord to help you so that you can be a light for Him.

What Is My Niche?

What's my thing...my niche here? What can I do to help? How can I fit in? These could be a few questions you may have in the church that you and your family are planting. Here you are in your newly established church and everyone seems to have a place or job and you may be wondering what you can do to be a part of this extraordinary thing. I know that I wondered this and asked myself these same questions.

Everyone wants to feel apart of something whether it is big or small. They want to feel as if they had a hand in making something better and to feel as if they have contributed somehow. Sometimes though it seems like everyone has been assigned a job and you are just standing there kind of feeling useless. You may also think that being the age you are that there is nothing of importance that you can do. Well, stop that thinking right now! There are numerous things that you can do to be apart of the church you are building.

The obvious choices of working in the church are playing an instrument and teaching. I don't know how to play an instrument. I can sing a little but until recently, I've never been able to work in the music area of my church. I had always felt like I wasn't really doing anything in the church because I wasn't this great musician. Now, if you do play an instrument or are learning to play the piano, guitar, and drums or taking voice lessons, then great! You have already found your niche at your church. But for the rest of us that God didn't bless with musical abilities, I have discovered that there are many many areas of the church that we can work in. If your church is like mine, we are always looking for good dedicated teachers. If you love teaching and helping others to learn than this could be the area for you. You can start by helping out in the nursery or see if you can help out in the primary church. I've learned that nurseries in churches are always looking for helpful and responsible people to work in the nurseries and help teach the little babies the stories in the Bible.

But you may be thinking to yourself that you can't play an instrument and you can't or don't like teaching. Well, there are plenty of other areas that you can help out in. Some of them may be behind the scenes and may not get as much attention as the musicians or teachers but they are just as important. What I would suggest doing is to figure out what you like to do.

Do you enjoy taking pictures with your camera or taking video of everything going on around you? You can use this as becoming the historian of your church. Everyone likes to keep a record of everything that goes on in the church and to help out with that you could start becoming the photographer or videographer. If your church already has a photographer than see if you can be his/her assistant. Learn from them. Ask them to teach you the art of photography.

Do you enjoy writing? See if maybe you can help out with writing the VBS program at your church or even start writing stories that can be used in Sunday School. You may even want to write a skit or play that can be used for different events going on in church such as Mother's Day, 4th of July, Christmas or Thanksgiving.

Do you enjoy decorating or planning things? Let's face it, no true church or FWB church has a function without eating a meal. Am I right? If you love to decorate or plan events then see if you can be put on the planning committee at your church or ask if you can help whomever is in charge of decorating the church for special events such as Thanksgiving dinner, Christmas dinner or Easter dinner. You will be able to use your imagination and help make a place look beautiful and everyone will enjoy sitting down at the table when they are surrounded by beautiful and festive decorations.

Do you enjoy cleaning? Believe it or not, there are some people who enjoy cleaning. This is also an area that, to me, is just as important as teachers or musicians. If your church is not clean very well or has an odor to the air than visitors will not come back and the spirit may not be there because everyone is more focused on the smell and untidiness of the church.Most churches starting out can't afford a cleaning service or janitor to clean the church so they have volunteers. One of my past churches had a schedule and a different family would clean the church for a month. If you enjoy cleaning, see if you can be put into that schedule or see if you can help the one that is cleaning the church already.

Do you love to read books or watch movies? You can definitely build something on this. Try putting together a ministry with the other teens where you meet each month and talk about a certain book or movie. You can talk about the subject matter of the book and what the Bible has to say about it and how it pertains to your life. There are many books out there that have discussion questions in the back. You may have to get your pastor's (father's)permission first on the book and movie selection.

My point to this is that there are plenty of jobs that you can do to feel like you have helped in some way. All you need to do is think about what you love to do and see how you can incorporate that into your church. Pray and ask the Lord to show you what you can do to be more involved. Talk to your pastor or in most of your cases, your dad, and brainstorm ideas and see what you can come up with about how you can be more involved in the church. Use your imagination. You can do so many wonderful things in your church and in turn this helps you feel more connected and you will know that you played a vital part in not only growing more close to the Lord but also winning more souls for Christ.

Unexpected Blessings

I was thinking back the other day of when my family was on itinerate for the second time. We were raising our support to Davenport, IA, and it had been a long summer. We had been on the road the entire summer and I was cranky. I missed my dog, my bed, my friends...everything that felt normal to me. The last thing I wanted this hot summer Sunday night was to spend another evening with people I didn't know and smiling and acting like I wanted to be there. We pulled up to this particular church and immediately we realized that we were not in a great part of town. The church building was so run down. The walls on the inside were a pea soup green color with water stains all over it. The carpet was so worn in places that you could see the sub floor underneath. The pews were not even padded! They were the hardest wood pews I have ever sat on and the place just smelled awful! The service started and the music was just horrific. They sang the slowest songs ever written and of course, they had to sing every verse to every song. I was miserable.

Our family got up to sing a couple of special songs and the faces we sung to were just blank. No emotion whatsoever. We might as well have been singing to an empty room. It was terrible. They didn't even clap or say "Amen" after we sung which I had thought was so rude. As we got settled as best as we could on those hard wooden benches I leaned over to my mom and said, "I hate this place. We will get no support from these emotionless snobs. We should have never come here." I told you I was cranky. I just didn't want to be there.

My father gets up to preach a sermon I had heard about 100 times that summer. I knew the sermon word for word. The only good thing was I knew when it would be over. Thinking back now, I don't even remember what sermon he preached that night. I think it was on Philemon. But I will say I do remember my dad preached his heart out. It was one of the best times he had preached the sermon. After dad preached he led the church in the invitational. No one came to the altar. I was amazed. Here my dad preached a great sermon and no one came to the altar. I knew these people's hearts were made of stone. My father then turned the service over to the pastor and after a few announcements he asked for the ushers to come so they could take up the offering for us. But something was different about this pastor. He was weeping. He told the church how he believed that God has sent our family to their church for a reason that night. He had been so discourged lately and the Lord spoke to his heart while my father was preaching. He felt like our family was going to do great things in Iowa. He explained how he and his family had been struggling financially. He then pulled out a $20 bill and said that this was the last twenty dollars that they had which was to be used for gas later on that night. He then ever so gracefully placed it in the offering plate. I started crying. I felt ashamed.

See, I was still fighting my parents about moving to Iowa. I just didn't want to go and I had a bad attitude about it almost the entire time we were on itinerate. But this church changed my whole outlook. I knew then that I was wrong in judging this church by the way things appeared. Nothing is what they appear and just because the church was run down and in a bad part of town didn't give me the right to say I hated it. I was so humbled that night and for the first time I felt God leading us to Iowa. I knew that there were people hurting who needed us. I realized then that there were people who were dying and going to Hell if we didn't go and tell them about the amazing gift God gave us. If I didn't get the right attitude in my heart we would never be able to do God's work faithfully.

I'm so thankful that God gave me this unexpected blessing. It was one that changed my life forever.