I few months ago I had sent out a message on Facebook to several former Home Missionary kids. I explained to them about this blog and how I wanted to start it back up again after a year's absence. I then asked them if there was any topics that I should blog about that could be an encouragement to our current MKs. They, in turn, sent back several suggestions that I thought were wonderful. I decided to wait a few weeks to really pray and see what the Lord wanted me to write about first. Then this week I received a message on Facebook from one of those former MKs and I could tell their heart was really burdened. They went on to explain that this has been a subject that has been on their heart for a long time and after talking with other former MK's they felt they needed to write their thoughts down. They sent it to me and after reading it I knew that I needed to share this with all of you. I believe that every MK feels this way at some point in their life and if you are feeling this way at this moment, please let this be an encouragement to you.
Do you ever feel like your parents focus on everyone else's spiritual growth and bringing others to Christ, and you sort of fall through the cracks? I know how that feels.
I was an MK for over 11 years, the really critical 11 years. I watched my parents plan events and outreaches at church. I watched them have people over for dinner at our house. I watched my dad spend countless hours at the church. He had people over to his home office to counsel them. Now, I know it's part of being in the ministry. My parents were called to this, and I was too, because God called our family. But how was I supposed to know how to be the witness I needed to be when I knew I wasn't growing spiritually and I honestly didn't really know how? I don't remember my parents asking me if I read my Bible consistently. I don't remember praying much together unless it was dinner, or I got in really huge trouble. I remember being 15 years old and not even knowing how to defend my faith. It scared me. I wanted to know God in a deeper way, but not knowing HOW. I wanted to be led, and I was becoming another person in the crowed at church. I wanted the discipleship others were getting, but felt neglected spiritually.
Then, all of a sudden I was expected to just jump 100% into ministry myself. I was 14 years old when I started playing the piano at church. Out of necessity, I was missing just sitting in the pew and worshipping God - because I was 'doing' ministry. Even at 14, I knew I was not spiritually mature enough to miss out on that. But it was expected of me. But since I was an MK, I was expected to be okay. So, I decided I'd just "be okay". I didn't want to reflect poorly on my parents. So I did what was expected, acted the way I was expected to act.
I've recently talked with some Mks that are several years younger than me and I see the same look in their eyes, the same insecurities are there. So, even 9 years after I've moved out of my parents' house and am no longer considered an MK, other kids are still feeling the same way.
Here's my encouragement to you if you are feeling like this. First of all, you have to remember that this is a ministry that your parents (and you being part of the family) have been called to. People are important and God wants them to be reached, and He wants to use your family to do that. But secondly, you need to be open with your parents. Tell them how you are feeling. I am an adult, married with children of my own now and I waited way too long to be honest with my parents about it. They just didn't see it when I was younger. Your parents need you to be open and honest and ask them to not forget about you. Ask them to help you grow spiritually and to lead you. You see, I didn't tell my parents how I was feeling. I thought they expected me to be perfect and fill the mold of a perfect daughter and turn out "okay". So, I started keeping secrets. I withdrew. I became an angry person but no one saw that. No one knew the real me. When I became an adult and expressed to them how I was feeling as a kid, I was floored that they just didn't see it. If I had said something and been honest, things would be different - I just know it. So, please, if you are feeling this way - talk to your parents, I promise you, YOU are their priority.
